never play flip cup with pint glasses
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
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Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
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She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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