That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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