Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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