She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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