I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize