That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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