She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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