all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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