If i come over, it means nothing
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
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then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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