So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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