they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize