Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
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I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
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I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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