Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize