Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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