worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
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I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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