Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize