Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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