i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize