did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
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Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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