My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize