Kiss
Puke
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize