Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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