Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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