I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize