I wanna bring you to show and tell
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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