know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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