yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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