I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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