Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
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No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize