the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
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I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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