Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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