You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize