My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize