He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
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his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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