I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize