I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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