Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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