thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
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TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is her dick bigger than yours?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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