Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize