Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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