I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize