Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize