Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize