Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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