I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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