I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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