Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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