I'm drive I can fine osifer
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize