I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The power of my boobs compel you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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