I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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